One Night Stand
by MarineWife
Summary: How Olivia and Alex "really" met. Complete for now, could possibly come back to it later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…**

**Writer's Note: This scenario is probably a little over done, but it's a good one in my book. This is my first fanfic, so I decided to go with something simple and fun. This can be a one shot or I could drag it out some. Completely up to the reviews, so let me know. The M rating is for if it will be continued.**

It felt as if someone were doing a tap dance on her skull. Although she knew it was not the thing to do, she opened her eyes to make sure that wasn't the case. She had to force back a whimper when the sun seared her retinas.

She just laid there a moment trying to remember the night before. She had only planned on having a few drinks. She had wanted to have a good time with her friends, but she hadn't wanted to be fuzzy headed the first day on the job. Looking back, there had been no hope. She vaguely remembered stumbling out of one club with the intent of heading to another. But everything after that was a blank.

After verifying her head was safe from mad tap dancers and her eyes cleared, she focused on the clock on her bedside table. She attempted to jump out of bed, but barely sat up before having to pause; taking her head in her hands to make sure it stayed intact with the rest of her body.

The groan coming from the other side of the bed had a scream rising in her throat. She looked behind her seeing the short cap of brown hair rolling to face her. At least she had done well for herself.

Now she really wished she could remember what had happened last night.

"Quiet. Early." The woman grumbled as she rolled over placing the pillow over her head.

"Can't. Late," She said while running around her bedroom picking up the woman's clothes and throwing them at her.

The brunette followed the blonde running around the room as if she didn't know what to do the morning after. Her actions this morning were those of a nervous virgin. The brunette shook her head at that thought because the blonde's actions the night before were definitely not a virgin's actions. She mentally winced at the burning in her thighs as she slowly sat up. Definitely not the blonde's first time.

"I have to get a shower." The blonde said without looking at the other woman. "Just let yourself out." She ran into the bathroom closing and locking the door behind her.

A small smile came over the visitor's face as she thought back on the nights events. She could remember everything. The moment the door of the club had opened to allow the professional blonde in she hadn't belonged. As soon as there was a drink in her hand and a crowd around her, that image had changed. Instead of mingled through the club, she danced through it. Instead of enjoying just a dance, she began karaoke in the middle of the room.

Every person there had gravitated to her. It had been to the brunette's surprise when the blonde seemed to be gravitated towards her. She generally enjoyed observing everyone's good time, trying to place who might be more her style. Last night, the blonde had drawn her onto the dance floor and hadn't let her leave it until they left entirely.

The aroma of coffee had her searching for the kitchen. She found a fresh brewed pot with mugs hanging from hooks under the cabinet. After taking the first much needed sip, she went in search of glasses and medicine. She had seen the pain of a hangover all over the gorgeous blonde's face.

_At least we wound up at my place last night,_ the blonde thought to herself while rushing through the shower. She tried real hard to think back to the night before, but to no avail. The woman had been gorgeous! The short light brown hair had shined, showing off natural streaks of auburn. The big brown eyes were made to drown in. _One nighter,_ she reminded herself.

She had gotten over questioning the fact that she continually woke up to a woman instead of a man in her bed after a drunken night after it happened repeatedly. But she still denied the fact that she was a lesbian. It wasn't as if she were ashamed of it. But a woman in her position and with her aspirations had an image to uphold, and being a lesbian in no way fit that image.

She hurried out of the shower and began rushing around the apartment trying to get ready. As she stepped to her dresser to finish her make-up, she saw the cup of coffee, water, and aspirin sitting on top.

A smirk crept across her face. This was defiantly not one night stand actions. She should know; she'd had plenty of them.

_What happened last night? _She thought as she downed the aspirin and water before taking the first sip of glorious coffee.

**1-6 Precinct, later that morning**

"Come in," Captain Don Cragen answered the door without looking up.

"Captain Cragen, I'm Alexandra Cabot. You're new ADA."

Captain finally looked up with a small smile on his face. "Nice to finally meet you Ms. Cabot. I can't say everyone necessarily agrees, but…You can't really blame them can you?"

"I don't intend on coming in and causing any complications Captain. I'm just here to do my job. Just like you and everyone else here. You can only take it so far. I take it the rest of the way," she answered trying to start things off as smoothly as possibly.

"Yes. Well, let's meet the detectives shall we?"

"Attention everyone," Captain Cragen announced while stepping out of his office with the ADA beside him. Three male detectives stood up from the paperwork they had been working. "Where's Olivia?" He asked looking at one detective in particular.

"She just called and said she was running late, but she'd be here any minute," the detective answered.

"Alright. Well, she'll just have to meet our ADA another time then. Alexandra Cabot, this is Elliot Stabler. Olivia Benson is his partner. These two gentlemen are Odafin Tutuola, or Fin, and John Munch."

Each man slowly walked to the blonde and gave a slight nod and a small handshake. It was obvious that none of them were very excited about the new ADA assigned to their unit. They had formed a family and didn't take well to outsiders being pushed onto them.

They all turned at the sound of footsteps moving quickly down the hall. Detective Benson flew through the room, not making eye contact with anyone, saying an apology for being late to the room in general. She walked past them to the coffeemaker across the room.

"Don't worry about it. There's no pressing issues at the moment," the captain assured her. "You do need to meet the new ADA though."

"Great," she mumbled. "Just what we need, our own personal babysitter."

"I assure you Detective, I have no plans of babysitting. I will trust you to do your job to insure that I can do mine," Alex answered the detective's ill-mannered suggestion.

_Well hell,_ Olivia though. _I didn't realize he meant meet her this second._

Olivia slowly turned to the group at large with an apologetic smile on her face. "I didn't mean anything, ADA. It's just…" _Well fuck me! 'Cause I already have her!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…**

**Writer's Notes: Not completely confident about this chapter, but it's how it played out for me, so… Turned out longer than planned as well. The song is 'Stand Still Look Pretty' by The Wreckers.**

They had worked together for months without any problems. The only signs that anything had happened between the Detective and Counselor was a brief pause from the former, and a slight smirk from the later. They then shook hands, and acted as if they had just met.

They each handled themselves and their jobs well. Only Alex knew she had woken up with the brunette the morning they met. Only Olivia knew she couldn't quite get a picture of the blonde with her head thrown back in ecstasy out of her mind. They spoke only about work and tried not to come into close proximity to each other.

It only took one case to change that.

It was hard on all of them when it involved children. This case was difficult in the sense that a young boy had shot a younger girl; he was seven and she only six. Alex was going through a war with her superiors and the media. Olivia couldn't help but be concerned for her. It didn't appear as if the woman had anyone to turn to. But then again ADA Alexandra Cabot never appeared as if she needed someone to turn to.

Once the trial was over and they had received the jury's decision they wanted, the squad decided to head to the bar to celebrate. Elliot invited Alex, as she was clearly part of their family now. She turned to Detective Benson with a questioning glance. _Will you be there?_

The detective gave a slight smirk in acknowledgment to the counselor's question.

The bar the squad always attended was a cop bar. Upon entering, everyone seemed to see someone they knew, everyone other than Alex.

As the men stopped to slap backs and joke with fellow officers, Olivia placed her hand on the small of Alex's back. "There's larger tables in the back. They'll meet up with us when they get ready."

_Why am I here? _Alex thought._ This isn't my place. These aren't my people._

_Why did she agree to come?_ Olivia thought to herself as she guided Alex to the back. _This is clearly not her usually style. But then again her style doesn't necessarily meet her persona when's she's not at work either, _she smirked as she thought back to the night she met the young ADA.

Once they found a table large enough for everyone, Olivia sat at the head of the table with Alex sitting beside her. "What do you want to drink? The boys will probably be a while, so we might as well get started."

After answering, Alex couldn't help but have her eyes slide down to the backside of the detective as she made her way through the crowd towards the bar. _What does this woman do to me? I cannot seem to get her or "the morning after" out of my mind! Maybe I just need a night with her that I actually remember to get over this hold she has on me._

Her thoughts were interrupted as the men made their way to the table. She gave them a small smile as they sat, all listening to the newest conspiracy theory John had made up.

She couldn't help but like the squad she worked with. Elliot with his bad-ass persona, but gentleness. Fin with his stand-offish ways, but you could tell he cared. Don, the daddy of the group, handed out praise and discipline hand-in-hand. John with his damn conspiracy theories. And of course Olivia. She hadn't quite figured her out yet. She had an unbelievable way of connecting with the victims, and in the next minute could have a perp singing to the heavens of his transgressions.

She watched as Olivia returned to the table with the skills of a regular bar maid, a tray of shots and glasses in one hand, two pitchers of beer in the other. A smirk on her face in answer to the cheers and love the men through at her for delivering.

"You have to watch these boys Counselor. After a case like this, they tend to get a little wild." Olivia leaned towards Alex speaking with an exaggerated whisper, "If you get them drunk enough, you can get anything you want out of them."

After everyone had taken their shot, Fin leaned over, "And if you get Liv drunk enough, she'll karaoke. Sounds so good it'll break your heart."

Olivia snorted, "No, I just wait till you are drunk enough that you think it sounds good."

After a little more than an hour, Cragen said his goodbyes. "Watch out for them for me Alex. Looks as if you're the only one holding back."

With a small smile and a nod, Alex watched the captain leave. She knew he had no one to go home to and wondered why he left so early. Olivia leaned over and whispered, "He's a recovering alcoholic. He enjoys going out with us, but he never stays too long." Alex silently accepted this, knowing that an explanation such as this meant she was indeed accepted into the family.

A few shots and drinks later, everyone stopped trying to make Alex feel accepted and comfortable; she just was. No one had thought the counselor would accept their invitation or be comfortable accompanying them into a cop bar. But she sat at the table laughing at all the jokes, sipping all her drinks.

Elliot leaned over, "So Counselor, what is it you do in your spare time?" He asked with a slight slur.

"Well since joining this unit, I haven't exactly had much free time. You and your partner seem to keep me pretty busy on your own. Not to mention those two over there," she answered with a slight nod towards the two contemplating yet another one of John conspiracy theories on the government and alcohol this time.

Olivia smirked, "Yea, but get _her_ drunk enough, and she'll be dancing around here like a freakin' back up dancer or something."

Alex shot her head around to look at the woman as Fin and John threw they're head back and laughed. Elliot gave the women a long studying look. She arched an eyebrow, "Have to get a few more drinks than this in me Detective."

"Well, let's see what we can do," Fin said as he headed towards the bar.

"No, Fin. It's fine really…" Alex's objections died into the bar and never reached Fin's back.

John leaned up laughing. "You have to understand Counselor, coming out to party with us is an all night affair. Don't plan on leaving sober. But if you do, plan on taking care of somebody who's not."

As they sat chatting waiting on Fin with their refills, someone walked up beside Olivia. He squatted down, placing his arms around her shoulders and his head on her chest. "Sing me a song Livia," he asked with a puppy dog look.

Olivia laughed, "Officer, I am not quite that drunk yet."

"Oh, come on. You don't have to be drunk to sing. Please," he turned a pair of sad eyes on her.

"No, you just have to be drunk to think it sounds good."

"And obviously I'm drunk enough. Come on. I already told the dj you would be heading up there." The rest of the table joined in on getting her to sing.

Alex sat up, "Go ahead Olivia. You've already heard me sing karaoke, without a machine I might add, so it's only fair I hear you now. I'd love to hear if you live up to all this hype or not." She raised her eyebrow in mock challenge.

Elliot looked over at the exchange with a questioning eyebrow raised. _When had Liv heard her sing karaoke? I didn't even think they liked each other._

"Fine," Olivia finally agreed. "Any requests?"

As Alex watched her get up and walk towards the stage, she leaned towards Elliot. "Can she really sing or is everybody just giving her hell?"

"Oh, she can sing," Elliot answered. "You just wait and see. Ever listen to country music?"

"Occasionally. She doesn't really seem like the country music type person to me," she answered with a questioning look.

"Yea well, I hate that sad country music shit, but when our Liv gets to singing…You just can't help but like it." Fin said.

Everyone at the table turned to watch their own detective make her way to the microphone. As the music started to play, Elliot leaned over. "This is by far her best song." They listened on as Olivia began to sing. Alex had never heard song before, so she listened to the words as well as the amazing voice they came from.

**I want to paint my face  
and pretend that I am someone else  
Sometimes I get so fed up  
I don't even wanna look at myself**

But people have problems that are worse than mine  
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time  
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say  
I wish I could start over

I am slowly falling apart  
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start  
And you might think its easy being me  
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking  
in the middle of the night  
And then it hits me and I can't  
even believe this is my life

But people have problems that are worse than mine  
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time  
And I wish that everyone would go an shut their mouth  
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

**I am slowly falling apart  
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start  
And you might think its easy being me  
You just stand still, look pretty**

Alex was in awe as the detective made her way back towards the table as the bar irrupted in applause and cat calls. She realized her mouth was hanging open, but she couldn't seem to do anything about it. "So Counselor? What'd you think of our girl?"

"That was amazing!" She answered once she found her voice.

After everyone settled down and began drinking and joking, Alex leaned over and whispered to the detective, "Maybe you should've been the one singing karaoke that night." She gave her a wink. After being unable to remember much about the night they had met, Alex had asked one 

of the friends she had been out with.

Olivia gave her a noncommittal hmm as she studied her. Tonight was the first night either had made any mention to the fact they had had an encounter before actually meeting. Olivia had been surprised to find that they could work together after the way Alex had acted the morning after.

She had tried to put it out of her mind, but it just never worked. As soon as she heard those clicking heels make their way down the hall, she imagined the beautiful blonde sauntering towards her on the dance floor. She was a little annoyed that the ADA was able to put it out of her head as easily as she had.

As the night drug on, the drunker they got. No one seemed to notice the fact that their new favorite ADA was not quite keeping up with them. The drunker the detectives got, the more they sang. Alex could hardly breathe after she heard John's rendition of Vanilla Ice's 'Ice Ice Baby'.

After last call, they slowly made their way towards the door, everyone except Olivia calling a cab on their way out. "I'll just take the subway," she answered their questioning looks.

"Nonsense," Alex stated. "There's no way you're taking the subway at three in the morning. You'll share a cab with me."

"No, really I'm fine," Olivia tried to convince her as she tripped over the threshold of the doorway.

Alex quickly wrapped her hands around her waist. "I can completely see that Detective," she said with a smirk. "All the same, you'll share with me for my own piece of mind."

"Aww! Lexi cares about us guys," Elliot says with a drunken grin on his face.

"Yes well, don't get use to it," Alex answered with a small smile to herself at the use of her nickname. "My heart always seems to soften up when it comes to slobbering drunk adults who are usually so in control of all their faculties."

"Now Alex, Livvie is the only one out here that can't seem to handle herself. As you can tell I'm standing just fine on my own," John pointed out as he leaned against a lamppost to steady himself.

"Well, now that you mention it I can see that quite well."

"Come on guys," Olivia slurred. "I'm fine. You've seen me worse."

"Maybe. Can't remember when though," Fin stated.

"Harty, Har, Har," Liv dryly laughed.

"Let's go Liv. This one's ours gentlemen. Please be safe," she told them as she gracefully dumped Olivia into the cab. Once seated inside she gave the cab driver her address.

"That's not where I live," Olivia mumbled against the door she was leaning against.

"Yes, I know. It is where I live though," Alex stated without turning towards the drunken brunette.

"You plan on taking advantage of me Counselor?" Olivia asked with a smirk and a lifted eyebrow.

"That seems to be more your forte Detective," she smiled as she watched the woman fight to keep her eyes open. "I don't think I would have much trouble with it if it were the plan though with you in your present state."

"I seem to remember perfectly well, you took advantage of me that night just as much as I had you, "Olivia turned her half closed eyes onto the gorgeous blonde beside her. Maybe she was drunker than she had been that night, but she could most defiantly hold her own if it came down to she and the ADA having a repeat of the night they met.

"Yes well, let's see about getting you safely inside before you decide to try out your moves yet again," Alex said as she paid the cab fee and made her way to the other side of the cab. She slowed with a smile on her face as she watched the detective practically roll out of the cab.

The elevator in her complex was out, so they had seven flights of stairs to walk up. Walking a drunken Olivia up that many steps was not a feat Alex planned on doing again. But they finally made it to her apartment unharmed. The only mishaps being the threats of calling the cops about all the noise they were making as Olivia decided to serenade Alex as they made their way up the stairs. She had forgotten the words in the middle of the song, and had nearly collapsed with laughter.

Alex was amazed at the flip Olivia made when they heard her phone ring. One second she was laughing and stumbling up the stairs and the next she was standing straight appearing to be completely sober, answering with a clipped "Benson" Alex had grown accustomed to.

_Well fuck,_ Alex though. _There go my plans for the night. At least she sobered up quick. I'll have to keep that in mind for a future night. Get her slobbering to have the kid come out, and then call her up for a sober woman to reappear. _

Her disappointment quickly faded as she shamelessly listened in on the conversation. She could hear a slurring Stabler on the other end checking to make sure Olivia was fine. She smiled thinking of the bond the two had together. If she were the jealous type, she would defiantly be jealous of the relationship the two detectives had together. If she hadn't woken up with the brunette a matter of months ago, she would have sworn the two had a more than work related relationship.

She heard Elliot making sure that Olivia made it home safely, and Olivia telling him she was fine, leaving out the part that she wasn't going home, but to their very own ADA's. Neither could help but laugh as they heard him cursing and stumbling as he made his way into his own house.

"Sounds like you better crash on the couch El. I really doubt Kathy would be to happy with having her very drunk husband crashing through the house this early in the morning." Pause on Alex's end. "Yea, yea. Bet 50 you get shot down," Olivia said with a smirk. "Take care El."

"You know what everyone says about the two of you right?" Alex asked as Olivia closed her phone and replaced it in her pocket.

"You know how untrue it is right?" Olivia answered. "Things have been said about Elliot and I since I first joined the squad. I can't be mad though. He and I just have something. Since day one there's been a bond between us. It's everyone else's fault that they assume it's sexual."

They continued making their way towards Alex's apartment, this time Olivia making it all on her own. "I have to agree. If I didn't know what I know," Alex smirked, "I would probably be on the wagon with everyone else."

"Yea well, you do know what you know though. Guess he and I are in the clear with you at least. You really don't have to do this Alex. I can make it home now. Sorry I was such an obnoxious drunk," she apologized with a ridiculously cute sheepish look on her face.

"Nonsense," Alex argued. "You were an adorable drunk, especially when you began singing to Mr. Humphrey on the second level. I do believe you made his night, quite possibly his life. I don't think eighty year old men get serenaded by knock-out brunettes very often anymore." She noticed a slight blush working its way up Olivia's neck.

"That's one thing I hate about getting drunk. I always seem to break out into song."

"Most defiantly not anything to be ashamed of with a voice like that detective. I was completely taken aback at the bar. I assumed everyone just enjoyed giving you hell. I never stopped to think that maybe you were just a hell of a singer." There was now a full out blush on Olivia's face and Alex found it adorable. "Well, here we are. Finally. I have got to remember to complain a little more about that elevator." Alex noticed herself starting to ramble as she couldn't get the key to turn.

Olivia silently placed her hand over Alex's while looking in her eyes and turned the locks on the door. It was Alex's turn to blush now. _How can I be so embarrassed now after going through the entire night with resolve to this night? Alexandra, get this woman in your house so you can fuck her stupid and get her out of your mind!_

_Isn't this a nice turn of events,_ Olivia though. _Alex has been blatantly flirting with me all night, but get back to her apartment and here's the virgin act again. Should be interesting trying to get her out of her element yet again. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…**

**Writer's Notes: First and foremost, thanks to everyone for the reviews. Sorry it took so long for an update. **

**Warning: Smut**

"Would you like a beer or something else to drink?" Alex asked as she rushed into her apartment turning on the lights as she passed.

"I figured you more for the wine kind of girl. Or mixed drinks were more your style last time we drank together," Olivia stated as she entered the apartment taking everything in again. Last time she had entered the apartment, her surroundings had been the furthest thing from her mind, and when she left, getting to work on time had been the goal. The place fit the woman perfectly, polished class everywhere you glanced.

But you could see it was a home as well. There were pictures surrounding the television stand and strategically placed on the tables. The coffee table was strewn with case files just as her own was at home. There was a half empty cup of coffee still sitting on the end table of the couch.

"I do enjoy a nice glass of wine. But I hate being predictable. And I couldn't remember what I was drinking last time if my life depended on it." She laughed thinking back as to just how drunk she had been.

"You were steadily switching between Slow Southern Screws and taking shots of Surfer on Acid," Olivia answered, slightly embarrassed that she was admitting to remembering so much about that night. "And as much as you were switching, I'm surprised you had a hangover the next morning rather than your head just rolling off your shoulders," Olivia answered with a smile.

"Yes, well. That was not the first club we had been to that night. In fact, I'm told it was the third. Drink, yes or no?"

"No, I'm fine. If you drank half as much at the other clubs as you did at the last one, I'm surprised you could dance, much less seduce me. As I hope you were informed by your friends, you were in fact the one to seduce me," Olivia remembering Alex's earlier comment of being taken advantage of. "I just wanted you to be clear on that. I know the lines not to cross. Taking advantage of a drunken someone is one of those lines."

Alex watched as Olivia gave an explanation to something that didn't need one. Seeing the woman, usually so confident, fidgeting and not able to make eye contact, had her present nervous state ease into the confidence she always obtained. She walked to her, placing her hand on her forearm. "Olivia, I was joking earlier. I know you would never take advantage of anyone. And yes, I was told of my conspicuous flirting with you that night." She witnessed a tug at the edges of Olivia's lips that hinted at a smile. "I'm told that I was most audacious in the pursuit, but it didn't take much persuasion to have you going along with me."

"Yea well," Olivia finally met the blue eyes of her ADA and smiled, "how could they expect me to turn down a blue eyed beauty that picks me out in a crowd?" As she posed this question, Alex had slowly moved even closer and was at this point slowly nibbling on the ear of the detective. The last part of her question was made in a breathless voice.

"Hmm. Good point." Alex barely whispered in her ear. It was most gratifying to see the effect she had on the always composed Benson. The hand she had on the forearm slowly began caressing up and down the detective's arm. The other wound its way around her waist, gently tugging the shirt out of her jeans. She slowly began making circular motions with her fingertips on the detective's back. A soft moan escaped from Olivia. "What do you say about taking advantage of each other Detective?"

A groan was her only answer as Olivia stepped back only to capture Alex's lips in a searing kiss.

They quickly began undoing the buttons on each other's shirts, lips never breaking contact. Alex couldn't get seem to get the last few buttons to cooperate, so she just pulled the shirt apart. Olivia's growl at Alex's act became a soft moan as Alex began playing with her nipples through her lace bra.

Alex began to quickly walk Olivia backwards towards the bedroom. There were too many sensations to remain standing. Her knees almost collapsed as Olivia's mouth left her own but started nibbling, kissing, and licking the pulse point on her neck. With her head thrown back, allowing Olivia better access, she could no longer see to make her way to the bedroom and rammed Olivia's back right into the wall.

The wall would just have to do for now. She quickly took control by capturing Olivia's mouth with her own and placing Olivia's hands over her head against the wall and holding them with one of her own. She ran her free hand down Olivia's arm to the front clasp of her bra, undoing it. She worked her mouth down Olivia's kissing her jaw line and neck as she began undoing Olivia's belt and pants.

The closer Alex's mouth came to Olivia's breast the farther her hand went down her pants. She could feel the heat of Olivia's arousal. "Alex," Olivia said breathless and almost pleading. As Alex captured Olivia's erect nipple in her mouth, she plunged her fingers into Olivia causing a strangled gasp to be heard. She sat a feverish pace with her hand as Olivia began to rock against her.

She released the nipple from her mouth and began to lick and softly nip the skin around it. She worked her mouth to the other breast, and gently bite before taking it into her mouth. The sounds she was causing the beautiful detective to make only helped in heightening her own arousal.

Alex felt the walls pulsing around her fingers. The sound of Olivia's breathe hitching showed just how close she was. She slowly began circling Olivia's clitoris with her thumb, never coming into direct contact with it.

"Alex….Alex please." Olivia begs. "I'm so close." Alex looked up to see her face and could see the desire in her eyes. She flicks her thumb direct over her clit and she feels the orgasm sweep through Olivia's body. Her rhythm slowed as the detectives breathing became normal.

Olivia captured her mouth, tangling their tongues together and began making her way to the bedroom. She pushed Alex onto the bed and looked down at her. "My turn."

* * *

As she lay in bed, finally controlling her breathing, she began wondering how awkward this could really be. _I can't exactly just ask her to leave. I work with her for God's sake. But I most defiantly have no intentions of beginning a relationship of any kind with a co-worker._ As she turned to speak to Olivia of their current state of affairs, she noticed the detective was already asleep.

She just didn't have the heart to wake her up. She knew how hard the detectives had worked on this case. And she had seen firsthand just how hard this particular detective would push herself until the case was closed.

A smile graced her face as she allowed herself to think just how nice it was to share her bed with Olivia. She was sprawled out on her stomach with an arm thrown protectively over Alex's midsection. The smile faded as she thought, _Don't even go there Alex. She is defiantly off limits. You have goals. You have plans. And a female co-worker would most defiantly not fit into any of them._

But she couldn't help but think of how beautiful the detective was as she watched her sleep. The normally structured face was completely relaxed and looked so serene. You would never guess as to the horrors that Olivia had to face on a daily bases.

As she snuggled down into bed to go to sleep, the smile grew again as the detective's arm tightened around her, pulling her closer into the warmth that always seemed to consume Olivia. _Well, one night couldn't hurt._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…**

**Writer's Notes: Thanks to everyone for the reviews. **

Alex had awoken the next morning to an empty apartment. And yet again, nothing was ever said between the two as to what happened. They continued working together without any problems, but they found it easier to be around each other this time. They slowly formed a friendship.

Only Olivia knew that she really wanted more from the ADA. Only Alex knew that the second night hadn't helped in getting the detective out of her head. But these facts hindered their friendship in no way. The "Ice Princess" was accustomed in hiding her feelings behind her cold façade. The detective was trained to hide everything.

Their budding friendship went on for nearly a year without a hitch. After another tough case, the squad headed back out to the bar, Alex in tow. In unspoken agreement, it was Olivia's turn to stay sober that night, and Alex was planning on taking full advantage of it.

What she hadn't planned on was to begin flirting with Olivia, yet again. And it started early. Whispers in Olivia's ear that could just as easily been said aloud. Comments that could be taken in so many ways.

She made numerous trips to the dance floor, dragging a different detective with her each time.

After seeing how Alex was acting, Olivia was glad she had decided to stay sober. She had a feeling that if both of them had been drunk, the guys would have wound up with more of a show than they had ever imagined.

There was a gleam in Alex's eye when Olivia was the only one who hadn't graced the dance floor with her presence. Starring in her eyes the entire way, Alex pulled her out of the seat and to the floor. She placed her hands around Olivia's waist and slowly started grinding against her, eyes never losing contact. A smile crept over Alex's face when she heard a muffled moan.

Olivia could see the jaws of her co-workers drop as they watched, and she was faintly embarrassed. But the longer they held each other, the less she cared.

At the end of the dance, Alex simply through her a grin and walked back to the table. Olivia took a deep breath as she walked over to join the group. She blushed at the comments the guys were making about her dancing. They had most defiantly never seen this side of their Detective Benson before.

The next step in Alex's night of fun was karaoke. She demanded attention from the entire bar. She might not have been the best singer, but she was by far the most beautiful of the night. The more songs she sang the more risqué the acts that went along with them became.

She strutted around the bar as if she owned it. Grabbing random people and pulling them into a dance or an embrace.

Olivia could barely hide her jealousy.

Alex slowly made her way to the table of detectives during each song she sang. She teased Munch by grabbing his tie and pulling him up out of his chair and then pushing him back down. She pulled Fin's head back by his ponytail, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. She sat directly in front of Elliot on the table giving him a flirtatious wink.

She spun, never leaving the table, and her eyes fell on Olivia. She slid off onto her lap, seductively crossing her legs and showing just a bit more thigh.

At the end of the song, she gave Olivia a burning kiss and walked away to return the microphone.

Olivia recovered quickly at the gasps of the other detectives. "And that boys, is the sign that I need to get her home." She couldn't help but laugh at the looks she was now getting. "No. Not for that, but when she starts kissing _me_ like that, we all know she's had a few too many."

"Oh come on Liv! It's just getting interesting. It appears as if a certain ADA has taken a liking to you, and we want to see just how far it can get!" Munch argued.

"Sorry guys," Alex apologized as she neared the table. "Some things are best left behind closed doors," she winked at the table in general.

"Alright Cabot," Olivia said standing. "I'm cutting you off. It's time to get you home." She leaned in and whispered, "I know how those pesky hangovers plague you."

Alex threw back her head and laughed. Olivia couldn't really remember hearing the wonderful sound before this night, but she knew that all she wanted was to be able to hear it again. "Fine Detective, be the party pooper. But you're taking care of me," she said with a mischievous smile.

After saying their goodbye's, getting Alex to actually leave was a harder task than she had planned. The counselor absolutely refused to leave unless Olivia danced her out of the bar.

"Come on Lex!" Olivia said exasperated. "This is ridiculous! Let's go."

"Not until you dance with me Detective," Alex smiled.

"Okay then Counselor, let's deal," Olivia chanced. She had already danced once with Alex tonight, and that was more than enough dancing for her in front of her colleagues.

"And what exactly do you have in mind Liv?" Alex asked with a devilish grin. "I have a few ideas of my own, but I don't think I'll have to bargain for them," she seductively whispered in Olivia's ear.

Olivia fought back a moan. "Let's head outside, and you can dance while we wait for a cab."

Alex tilted her head in thought. She missed the part of it only being her dancing in her drunken state. "Deal!"

They made their way outside, and Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia preparing to dance. Olivia softly pushed her back with a smile on her face. "You, Counselor, are the one doing the dancing. You can dance till your heart's content while we wait for a cab."

A pout formed on Alex's lips that Olivia found unbelievably adorable and had to fight back the urge to take a nip of. "But you said…Oh, so we're being sneaky with drunken people now are we," she exclaimed as she replayed the deal in her head.

"Only when it gets me out of dancing," Olivia laughed.

Alex's pout turned into a small smile. "Alright then, I'll dance, but no laughing. I haven't done this in a long time, so I'll be rather rusty I'm sure." Alex placed her hands on Olivia's shoulders as she balanced to take off her shoes.

Olivia stood back as she watched Alex begin slow ballet movements. A date had once taken Olivia to the ballet, and she had not enjoyed it at all. But watching Alex's impromptu performance on the sidewalk seemed romantic to her.

A small crowd slowly started forming around the beautiful woman. Everyone was silent, as if any sound would break the spell the woman was under and had somehow placed on them as well. Alex was lost in her own world, unaware of the attention she had.

The movements were forgotten by Olivia when she caught a glimpse of the look upon Alex's face. She had never seen anyone at such peace with their selves. She had most defiantly never seen the ADA in such a state.

After she finished, the sounds of clapping brought both women out of their thoughts. A faint blush came across Alex's face once she saw all the people gathered around her. She gracefully curtsied and walked to Olivia to put her shoes back on.

"That was amazing," Olivia whispered reverently.

Alex's blush grew deeper. "Thank you," she whispered looking directly in Olivia's eyes.

They were silent in the cab, each lost in their own thoughts.

Olivia knew she shouldn't let anything happen. She understood that all Alex needed was a release, but she wanted so much more from Alex that one more night wasn't going to be enough. It would only hurt her in the end.

Alex knew that this night was a turning point for them. It had started out flirty and fun, heading to a night of mind-blowing sex. But then there was that moment outside the bar. She had seen something in Olivia's eyes. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she knew it was something important.

She hoped that they could at least have one more night to forget everything else in the world, except for the pleasure they brought each other.

Helping Alex up the stairs of her apartment was not half the hassle it had been for Alex almost a year ago, but Olivia still felt the need to make sure she made it safely.

After opening her door and walking inside, Alex turned with a questioning look to Olivia who remained standing outside. "Listen Alex…," Olivia started, not making eye contact.

Alex moved slowly towards her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Shh. Not tonight Liv. Please," she said softly placing her forehead against Olivia's, "just not tonight."

Olivia searched Alex's eyes before making any movement or response. There was something there that she couldn't quite understand. It was need, but not from desire. She had told herself that it couldn't happen again, that she needed more. But she knew that there was nothing she could deny Alex, and if Alex needed this night, she would deliver.

She gently kissed Alex, walking them slowly into her apartment. She turned to silently close the door and turn the lock. Olivia looked in Alex's eyes again, trying to decipher what she saw in them, as she took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

It was much different than their other times together. Alex had thought she only needed the passion that Olivia offered, but she found out that she needed Olivia's gentleness as well.

Olivia wanted to take her time tonight. It would probably be the last night she had a chance to touch Alex like this, and she wanted to love her the way she deserved to be loved. Each gentle kiss and caress slowly stoked a fire in Alex. The usual sounds were turned into sighs and intakes of breathe.

Once Alex's breathing had returned to normal and she turned to Olivia, Olivia simply kissed her forehead and told her to sleep. Alex was reluctant to listen. She wanted to give Olivia the same amount of pleasure she had been given. But she was so tired, she simply gave her a kiss and wrapped herself up in Olivia's warmth, head burrowed in her neck, arm and leg thrown over her pulling her closer.

* * *

Alex woke the next morning to an empty apartment. She was only slightly surprised at the disappointment she felt. She had thought last night had been different. She hadn't wanted anything more with Detective Benson, but more had somehow happened. She just had to decide now whether she wanted it or not.

She went about her morning routine, getting ready for work. As she walked towards the door, a piece of paper caught her attention. She sighed loudly after reading it.

_Alex,_

_Sorry I had to leave, caught a case. We need to talk._

_Liv_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine…**

**Writer's Notes: Thanks to everyone for the reviews.**

Alex had been unable to work all morning with thoughts of Olivia and the night before in her head, and now she was trying to cram work into the fifteen minutes she had before she was supposed to be in court.

The night just kept replaying over and over in her mind. She couldn't believe how forward she had been at the bar, then the impromptu dancing on the sidewalk. And then how Olivia had acted.

_She had been so gentle and caring. It was almost as if she were trying to convey whatever she had wanted to say, that I didn't want to hear, with each touch. But that can't be right. She had acted as if she didn't want to have sex anymore, but the touches spoke of…What? Love? That can't be right._

Alex didn't even look up at the knock on her door. She continued reading the case file and answered with an absent minded, "Come in." Still not looking up, she said, "I hope this isn't important because I only have about ten minutes before I have to head to court."

Her head finally shot up when she heard the voice. "It kind of is, Alex." Olivia stood in front of the closed door, not trusting herself to walk further into the office.

"What can I do for you Detective?" Alex asked. She was only somewhat surprised that her voice came out so clear despite the nervousness she felt. She always had a firm hold on her emotions, but after the way her thoughts had been this morning, she couldn't be certain that her voice wouldn't crack and she wouldn't stutter when she finally spoke to Olivia.

"You know why I'm here Alex," Olivia answered, slowly walking forward to stand behind the visitor's chair. "We need to talk."

Alex took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I know, but it can't be now. I literally only have ten minutes before I'm needed in court. And by the look on your face, whatever needs to be said will take much longer than that."

Olivia nodded. "Alright then, just give me a call when you have enough time." She turned and walked out the door without waiting for a reply.

* * *

Alex put off talking to Olivia for almost a week. She avoided her at all costs, which wasn't that hard considering the work load she had. If a trip to the precinct was needed, she sent her assistant or somehow managed to miss Olivia each time.

She was sitting at home on Friday night when she decided to finally call Olivia. She knew she wouldn't be able to get any work done when thoughts of Olivia kept running through her mind. She reached for her phone, dialing from memory. She held her breath until she heard her pick up, "_Benson."_

"Care for a drink Detective?" Alex asked, nerves evident in her voice.

Olivia could only sigh. She had begun to wonder if the ADA would ever be willing to talk. It had been almost a week since she had seen or heard from her, but she had refused to go back to Alex. If she didn't want to talk, fine. But no talking equaled no fucking in her books.

"_Not really Alex. We need to talk."_

"I know. I meant, would you like to come to my apartment and talk over a glass of wine?" She didn't really feel like drinking, but knew that she probably would after having this conversation with Olivia.

"_Alright. I'm still at the station, and there's some things I need to go over. I'll try and be there within an hour."_

"Take your time Detective. I'll be here."And with that she hung up the phone, determined to do just as much work as Olivia was doing in that hour period.

Alex was brought back from work with a knock on the door. She was surprised at how fast the time had gone by. Once she had spoken to Olivia, she had finally been able to focus on work.

She looked Olivia over while opening the door. She looked tired. Alex knew it had been a rough week at work, and she hated to think that she had added any worries to Olivia by putting off their talk. "Hey," she greeted, stepping back to allow Olivia to enter. A small smile was all she received. "Rough week?"

"Yeah, you know how it goes," Olivia answered as she stepped in the apartment and took off her jacket. "Week from hell, and I'm ready to put it behind me."

"Okay. Well, make yourself comfortable. I'll go grab a bottle of wine and be right back."

Rather than sitting on the couch to get comfortable, Olivia walked across the room to look out the window. She didn't turn when she heard Alex reenter the living room.

"Do you ever feel alone? Just utterly and completely alone? Even with all the people in the city and all the people around you?" Olivia was just as surprised to hear this as Alex. She hadn't planned on talking like this with Alex. She had wanted to tell Alex she refused to be a fuck-buddy, and for that to be the end of it. But here she was, saying things she never spoke to anybody about.

"I've been on the job for years now. I've worked with this unit, the same people, for almost half a decade. They're my family. I know that if I ever need anything I can go to them. But sometimes, I still feel alone.

"I walk sometimes late at night when I can't sleep. I could pass the same person every time and never know it. It's ridiculous to live in a world with so many people, but still feel all alone."

When she finally turned, Alex could see tears in her eyes and feel them in her own. This was a side of Olivia she had never imagined. It was heartbreaking to hear the always strong detective speak like this. It brought feelings out of herself that she hadn't new she had. She had to fight back the urge to take the woman in her arms and prove to her that she wasn't alone anymore.

She had been brought up in a family that always put their feelings aside. She had been taught to never let your emotions be seen. To always put on a show of perfection for everyone. It was much like the song Olivia had sung at the bar. She had been taught to stand still and look pretty.

"I'm tired of being alone Alex. I'm tired of playing the games that people play with each other. I'm tired of the one night stands and the going home to an empty apartment. I'm ready to feel with someone," Olivia said, taking slow, sure steps to the doorway where Alex still stood. "I want that someone to be you Alex. I know we've never talked about this, and we've only had a few drunken nights, but it's what happens between us outside of those nights as well that I want. It's all or nothing Alex. I can't do this anymore."

_Well, that's not exactly how I had planned on getting my point across, but it's out there, _Olivia thought as she stood before the silent blonde.

Alex couldn't breathe, there were too many sensations swamping here. The sound of Olivia's voice kept bouncing around in her head. Her scent, perfume, New York and something that could only be her, was trapped in Alex's nostrils. Alex could feel the heat that always seemed to pour out of the detective. She could see the words Olivia just spoke in the woman's eyes.

There was a magnetic pull to this woman that she could literally feel herself being drawn by. She forced herself to step back, and only then was she able to draw a much needed breathe without Olivia overwhelming her. She stepped back to lean against the counter, sitting the untouched wine down.

"I…Olivia…I just can't," Alex found it hard to talk. It was hard to refuse this woman in front of her. As much as she had been drawn to the dependant, intense woman, this Olivia, this open and sensitive Olivia, was so hard to resist. But she would stand firm to her resolve. She would never be able to fulfill her aspirations if she were to begin something with her.

"Can't or won't Alex?" Olivia took a step forward. "I catch you looking at me sometime Alex, and I see the exact same thing in your eyes. You want this Alex, just as much as I do."

"Of course I want this. I would love for it to be more than just those few nights," Alex found herself pinned between the counter and Olivia. "But you know just as well as I do that I will never be content with an ADA's position, and New York is not ready to appoint an openly gay…" Whatever else Alex had planned on saying was effectively stopped by Olivia's lips against hers. It was a gentle kiss that reminded Alex of the last night they had spent together.

"Do you not feel that Alex?" Olivia asked as she rested her forehead on Alex's.

Alex was hesitant to open her eyes. Of course she felt it. How could someone not feel it with this vibrant woman? "It's not that easy, Olivia!" Alex answered after meeting her eyes. "If feelings were the issue, we wouldn't be having this conversation." She paused. "Actually, yes we probably still would. I'm not good with personal feelings. They're too complicated. Once feelings get involved, everything just get's fucked up."

"Sounds lonely Alex," Olivia answered after seeing the truth of what the blonde had said in her eyes.

"Yes well, you understand lonely now don't you Liv," she answered with more heat than she intended. But if Alex were honest with herself, she knew that it was easier to be angry than except what Olivia was saying. She immediately regretted saying that, and was confused at the lack of hurt or anger in Olivia's eyes. "This is all I can give you. If I were to pursue a relationship, it would be with you. But I won't, so there we are."

Looking directly in her eyes, Olivia slowly nodded and stepped back. "If you ever need anything, other than a quick fuck, I'm here for you Alex." She gave a small smile and walked out the door.

Alex stood without moving for a long time after she heard the door close. To be so completely against forming a relationship with Olivia, she felt a sadness wrap around her. _Get it together Alex. Fuck buddies never last that long. Best to get out now before either of us get in too deep anyways._


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Character's aren't mine…**

**Writer's Note: Thanks for the reviews!**

The raging storm outside the apartment met that of the beautiful brunette's fury on the inside. Lighting was the only light put off throughout the city. Thunder was the lone sound as the city bunkered down to wait out the storm.

Olivia loved the storm. She needed something at the moment to meet her temper.

_Need to learn how to do my job! _Olivia paced her living room, the only source of light coming from the steady flash of lightning. _What does she think? These assholes just walk in and admit to their shit?! I'm out there every day busting my ass to bring these perverts in. I keep her in her fucking job! _She stopped pacing long enough to kick the sofa. _And then she tries to seduce me into coming to her office! To what? Help her relief some stress!? I think not! _But the image of Alex lying back on the desk with herself between her legs was easily pictured in her mind.

The loud knock on the door was drowned out by thunder, but the shout, "Damn it, Olivia! Open the door!" was easily heard.

A sound close to a growl escaped her throat as she stalked to the door.

Alex flew in without waiting for an invitation. "Just who the hell do you think you are? When I say I want to see you in my office, I expect to see you in my office."

"Just who the hell do you think you are? If I didn't want to come to your office to see you, I sure as hell don't want to see you in my own home," Olivia yelled back, glad to have something other than the storm to rage with.

Alex glared at her. "I need to speak with you about damage control. I'm the one that's left cleaning up the mess that all of you have so expertly made."

"No, what you needed was for me to take you in your office for a little stress reliever," Olivia shot back. When an answer wasn't forthcoming, she continued. "I told you I don't want that Alex. I won't be some damn lap dog. I want ask how high when you say jump."

Olivia could see the flash of desire through the anger in Alex's eyes from across the room. Alex stalked towards Olivia, forcing her back against the door. "Really?" she asked before devouring the detective's mouth.

Olivia knew they shouldn't do this. She knew what they both wanted, and it wasn't the same thing. But she also knew that if she moved to push Alex away, she would most likely fall to the ground in sensory overload. She could feel the heat from every spot their bodies touched. She could taste Alex in her mouth, and hear her soft moans.

They pulled apart, in need of air, only to have Alex placing heated kisses and soft nips against her jaw. She took the detectives earlobe in her mouth, sucking and gently nibbling. "Jump," she whispered as she made her way down Olivia's neck.

It took a second for Olivia's brain to comprehend what the counselor had said. "Fuck you," she growled between gritted teeth, fighting her own desire.

Alex never stopped her ministrations, placing kisses along Olivia's neck. Finding and licking her pulse point. Gently dragging her teeth across her collarbone. She pulled her head up to look in Olivia's eyes.

Seducing Olivia had begun as a way to eliminate their anger. Then it had turned into a challenge thrown down by the detective. But as soon as Alex looked into her eyes, black with passion, it was completely about wanting the brunette and knowing she wanted her as well. "Jump Detective," she rasped

Olivia couldn't speak. She knew that if she opened her mouth, the words the beautiful woman wanted to hear, that she refused to say, would fly right out. A slow, and not very convincing, shake of her head was all she could give.

When Alex took her lips this time, it was gentle and passionate. Her hands began slowly running over the sculpted body. Fingertips barely making contact but leaving a burn everywhere she touched. Knuckles skimming over tight abs, fingertips gliding up tone thighs. She placed her hand under the detective's shirt. She softly ran her hand up the woman's side, acknowledging the slight tremor as she moved closer and closer to her breast. She allowed her knuckle to slightly graze underneath as fingertips made their way closer and closer to the heat between Olivia's thighs.

She released her mouth, leaning to place their forehead against each other. She stared directly into her eyes, "Jump Liv." She ignored the fact that it almost came out as a beg.

Starring in Alex's eyes made Olivia even more breathless than everything the ADA had been doing to her. The normally clear blue eyes that appeared as if you could jump into and fly, were cloudy and dark, like a storm you watch rolling in on the horizon. She still didn't know what was between them, but she knew that in this moment, she wanted exactly what the gorgeous blonde would give her.

"How high?"

Olivia wasn't sure if she had said it. Alex wasn't sure if she had heard it. But the longer they stared in each other's eyes, the more assured they became.

It was Alex's turn to be gentle. She poured herself into the kiss as she slowly entered the warmth and wetness between the detective's legs. She swallowed the moan that escaped the brunette.

Her left hand gently cupped Olivia's breast, her thumb lightly running over the protruding nipple. Her fingers, deep inside, curled to find the erogenous spot, thumb gliding over her clit.

She softly pulled back from the kiss as she felt Olivia's trembling against her and the ragged breathing. She moved to her ear and whispered, "Let go. Jump for me Liv."

Olivia rested her head back against the door, arching into her touch. A soft moan could be heard as her inner walls swelled against the fingers inside her. Alex placed her body flush against hers, trying to help her remain standing.

Once her breathing had evened, she pulled her head up meeting Alex eye to eye. "Finished Counselor?" she asked.

Alex, confused to see eyes only seconds before full of heat and passion now were void of all emotion, could only nod.

Olivia pushed away from the door, effectively creating space between herself and Alex. "Then I think it's time you go." She calmly turned to the door and opened it, looking directly into Alex's eyes the entire time.

The look of confusion was clear on Alex's face. She had spent less than an hour in Olivia's apartment and had gone from anger to arousal in a very short period of time. She still wasn't exactly sure what she wanted from Olivia, but the fact that she would in fact jump for her meant so much. She had expected to at least be able to talk about it with her. But seeing the determined look upon the detective's face, she knew it wasn't an option.

She slowly walked through the doorway, never losing eye contact with Olivia. Alex watched as the door shut between them, closing her eyes at the sound of the lock.

The each turned, leaning against the door, and sighed.

_Why do I let her do this to me? _Olivia wondered.

_Why do I keep doing this? _Alex questioned.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's taking so long for updates. Insomnia has stolen my ability for clear thinking. It may be even longer for an update this time thought because my dog has chewed through my battery. Sorry!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine…**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. My dog chewed through the battery cable to my computer. Now that I've finally got another one, she's chewed it too. Little bitch. Either it gets fixed soon or the dog's gone, promise. ;)**

Olivia was an expert avoider. She could avoid a person for extended periods of time without out anyone, the person included, ever noticing. But Alex was no beginner in the game of avoidance herself, so after a few days, the signs were obvious. Elliot was now the one to ask for and retrieve warrants. He always had a ready excuse as to where Liv was, and it was almost pathetic to see that he believed them all. As soon as Alex would enter the squad room, there was someone she and Elliot needed to speak with, a file to locate or an errand to run.

At the two week point, Alex had had enough. She was tired of her phone calls going unanswered. Tired of watching the detective's hips always sashaying away from her. In the back of her mind, she knew Olivia was only walking, not trying to put on a show just for her, but the loudest part of her brain was screaming that Olivia was a damn tease.

After reaching her breaking point, Alex found herself in Captain Cragen's office. "Don, you wouldn't happen to know how I can reach Detective Benson would you? I need to speak with her about the Branson case."

"I think she and Elliot are out canvassing for the case we caught this morning." He paused, giving her a confused look. "I thought Stabler was testifying on that case for you?"

If Alex hadn't practiced that cool façade of hers, she knew panic would be written all over her face. It had been stupid of her to think she could pull something like this on the captain; he knew just as much about every case as she did. "Yes, but with what happened in the interrogation room, I'd like to speak to Olivia. I have a feeling they're going to attempt to shred Elliot on stand, and I would like to hear her side." _And that's why you became a lawyer, lie lie lie._

The look on Cragen's face told her he wasn't completely convinced, but he had better things to worry about than why the ADA needed to talk to one of his detectives. "If you haven't gotten a hold of her by the time she gets here, I'll send her your way."

* * *

At the end of the day, an unhappy Olivia Benson made her way to Alex's office. She had put it off as long as possible and made all of the excuses she could to her captain before he finally banned her from the squad room until she spoke to Alex.

She walked into the office, not bothering to knock. "I can't believe you went to Cragen!"

"Well hello to you too," Alex sat back in her chair and smiled. She didn't feel like fighting, but she enjoyed seeing the barely suppressed anger in this woman.

"Yea, yea, hi," Olivia paced the office. "I can't believe you went to Cragen!"

"Well if you would answer your phone or stay in the same spot for one damn minute, I wouldn't have had to," Alex said exasperatedly.

"Should've been your first clue Cabot," Olivia continued to pace.

"You once said if I ever needed anything I could come to you." She looked down at her hands resting on the desk. Her voice grew softer as she continued. "I need a friend. I know with how much we argue over cases and with what has happened between us, it may seem odd, but I like to think of you as a friend." She laughed a humorless laugh, still refusing not to look up. "Hell Liv after taking this job, you're practically my only friend. I just…I need a friend."

Olivia had stopped pacing during Alex's confession. They had never even had a personal conversation, but she too thought of Alex as a friend. And Alex was one of very few of her female friends. She finally sat. "Okay."

Alex's head shot up to meet the dark brown eyes of the woman sitting across from her. "Okay?" She had not expected Olivia to agree so quickly. The detective's compassion never seized to amaze her.

Olivia gave a slight nod. "Okay."

Alex sighed deeply. "Okay." She looked back down at her hands. She wasn't exactly sure as to where to go from here. She knew what she wanted to say, just not how to say it. And as a lawyer, she was in no way comfortable with that situation. She had assumed the time it would take to persuade Olivia would give her plenty of time to decide what exactly she wanted to say. She started out slowly, "There's this woman."

"Is she hot?" Olivia asked, waggling her eyebrows trying to ease the tension.

Alex couldn't help but laugh. "My attraction to her is in no way the problem. It's everything that goes along with this attraction that has me worried."

"And what exactly is everything else?"

It was the most awkward conversation either had ever had. Alex was discussing feelings she had for a woman, with said woman, as if she weren't. Olivia was hearing the feelings a woman had for her as if they were meant for someone else. But each were determined to fight through the awkwardness.

"I don't do relationships, but I have a lot of…well for lack of a better word, relationshipy feelings towards her." Alex answered fiddling with her glasses.

"Why is that such a bad thing? Why don't you do relationships?" Olivia isn't selfish enough to ask this question to hear the answer for her benefit. She asked because she knew Alex needed to talk her way through whatever was going on in her mind.

"Relationships are too messy. Somebody feels too much, somebody doesn't feel enough. The only thing that happens in the process is hurting each other. And my job has a major part in it. I will never be satisfied with being an Assistant District Attorney and New York will not appoint an openly gay District Attorney or anything else for that matter."

Olivia took a deep breath. She knew she was walking on shaky ground at that point in time. She wanted Alex to realize how wrong she was about relationships, but she didn't want her to think she was trying to pressure her.

"With your job…Well if you think that you can go home to an empty house for the rest of your life and be satisfied at the end of the day having only work to hold onto, then the decision seems to be easy. But seeing as how I' m having this conversation with you right now, you're already doubting that when you've barely began the journey to the top.

"But of course relationships are messy, Alex. Feelings are messy. Life is messy. You can't live without expecting to get a little dirty now and then. And yea, love hurts sometimes, but when you find the right person, no matter how much you hurt each other, you'll always love them. Nobody's perfect, they're gonna make mistakes, but when they're right for you, you'll always forgive them. Because you'll make some mistakes yourself, and they'll be right there to forgive you too."

Olivia paused, the vision of their last encounter coming to mind. "And at some point you stop jumping because they're telling you to. You jump because you know they'll be right there to catch you.

"Relationships are about give and take. You each have to realize what the other's willing to give and receive, and be happy with whatever it may be. And if not, if you don't get out in enough time, then all that's left is pain and regrets."

Alex sat studying the detective during her passionate speech. She had seen the fight with what to say going on in Olivia's mind. But of course, Liv knew exactly what it was that need to be said. Her mind was in no way made up, but it was nice to hear Olivia's views on relationships if she were actually considering establishing one with her.

_And let's just face it, I am._

"I still don't know what I want Liv. You've given me a hell of a lot to think about tonight though. That's for damn sure. I just…emotions aren't one of my strong points. I was raised to put emotions to the side and do what was expected of me, not do what I wanted. It's a hard habit to break."

Olivia snorted. "Believe me, I know. When you grow up with an abusive mother, you learn to never let anything show." She saw the sad smile on Alex's face at her lame attempt to turn her history into humor. "I just want you to know that I didn't say anything to try and pressure you. Everything I said, I would have said the exact same thing to you if you were talking about a relationship with someone else."

Alex sighed. "I know. It's just one more awkward situation I've seem to put us into."

Olivia studied Alex, trying to gage just how much stress she was under and if she could handle any more admissions. She gave small smile when she realized just who she was thinking of. She slowly stood up and made her way to the door. "I'm not asking you for forever Alex. I just want more than just sex. I _need_ more than sex."

And with that she walked out the door.

Alex sat unmoving in her chair. She let out a loud sigh. _Another sleepless night._


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Character's aren't mine…**

**A/N: Reviews dropped off last chapter, and I'm kind of kind of losing interest myself, so this is probably going to be the last chapter. Unless of course you want more. I'm really not too confident with this chapter, but like I said I'm losing interest. **

The conversation was never brought up again.

They slowly formed a routine. Most lunch breaks were spent together. Many phone calls passed between the two. All free time outside of the office was spent together. They occasionally spent the night together, but nothing more than holding one another took place.

They both began to speak openly to each other. There were no taboo conversations. They were completely open with one another.

After a month had passed, on a night Alex brought her dinner since she was working late, it hit Olivia. They were practically a couple. She smirked when she thought this because she knew Alex in no way realized it.

She slowly started trying to make it more evident to Alex. Picking up flowers every so often on her way to Alex's apartment. Soft short kisses good night. Subtle flirtations and compliments.

They were cuddled on her couch, Alex's head on her shoulder, a month later when she decided to finally say something. "You know what this is right?" she looked down at Alex, softly running her fingers through Alex's hair.

"What what is?" Alex asked, eyes nearly closing with the comfort of having Olivia hold her and playing with her hair.

"You and me," Olivia almost laughed at the sleepy tone of Alex's voice.

"What about us?" Alex now raised her head and looked at Olivia with a confused expression.

"We're in a relationship." There was now a look of panic on Alex's face. "Don't freak out yet. Just listen first. Who have you wanted to spend your free time with lately?"

"You," confusion was back in Alex's eyes.

"Who's the first person you think to call when something happens during the day?"

"You." Alex quickly sat up on the couch, it finally sinking in.

"When you want to spend a quiet night at home cuddled up on the couch with someone, who do you imagine?"

"You." Panic was back in Alex's eyes.

Olivia slowly took Alex's hand. "That's all I was asking for Sweetie. I wanted you to let me into your life, not just your bed, and I wanted you to allow yourself to be in mine." Alex sat silently staring at the television without seeing it. "I told you I wasn't asking for forever Alex. There's absolutely no way of knowing if something like this will last, especially if you're not willing to give it a shot. I just needed more than sex, and that's exactly what you've given me."

Olivia paused trying to guess what Alex was thinking. There was still a panicked look on her face, but she could tell she was hearing her and thinking. "We've basically been in a relationship since that night in your office." She smirked. "We've just been leaving out all the perks."

Alex remained silent. Olivia got up, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, and went to the kitchen to get her a glass of wine. Alex was in the same exact position when she returned. She didn't even acknowledge the wine Olivia placed in her hand.

Olivia walked behind the couch, placing another soft kiss on the back of her head. "I'm going to go for a walk so you can think. If you're ready to talk or if you want to go before I get back, just give me a call. Please wait till I get back if you want to leave. I want to make sure you're okay."

Alex barely nodded in acknowledgment.

* * *

Alex sat back on the couch after she heard the door close.

_What the fuck!? She can't be right! We're not in a relationship. There's nothing wrong with spending a lot of time with someone. Granted, it's odd that we're spending all our time together after we've already had sex, but…there's nothing wrong with it._

_It can be normal. People remain friends after relationships, why can't they remain friends after sex? That's all we're doing._

She started thinking back on the past few months. She had let Olivia in her life like she rarely let someone in. She told her about her family, holding nothing back. She never spoke of the affect her family had on her; how critical they were and how hard it was for her to try and live up to their expectations.

Work had been full of ups and downs, mostly downs. But Olivia had in fact been the person she called at each turn of event. She had an almost scary ability to know what Alex needed during those down moments. She knew whether Alex needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to yell at, someone to reason with, or someone to just sit quietly with her.

_Well, shit! We are in a damn relationship. How the hell did I let this happen? _

She was up pacing now.

_I didn't…she did this! She knew what she was doing the whole time! She planned this out!_

_No, that's not right. Olivia's not that kind of person. And I don't do anything I don't want to. Spending time with Liv is defiantly something I want to do._

_But is it worth it? Is having a relationship with her worth the possibility of losing my credibility? Of losing my career?_

* * *

Olivia slowly made her way a few blocks down from her apartment to the park. She walked to the small pond that she liked to think by. It was a surprise the first time she found the pond. It was hard to find such secluded area in New York.

She lay down by the edge, feet crossed propped up on her elbows. She watched the sun setting reflect across the water, the soft ripples made by the ducks. It was a peaceful place.

She had cried the first time she found it. It was after the first time her mother had ever hit her. But she wasn't crying over her mother, she cried in happiness to have found a place that was all her own. In all the times Olivia came here, she had never once seen another person.

Olivia let her mind wander as she looked across the pond. There was nothing more for her to do with Alex except to wait.

She had opened up to her like she had opened up to no one before. Alex knew things about Olivia and her mother that not even Elliot knew. And even if Alex did not want a relationship, she wouldn't regret it. Alex had become a major fixture in her life, and if having her as a friend was all she could get, she'd take it.

She had been amazed at how Alex had opened up to her. _Ha. To think the woman says she doesn't handle emotions. _Outside of work, the woman was nothing but emotions. She cried for the victims. She cried for her own life, but Alex could still smile and have it actually reach her eyes.

It was a shock to be able to look at Alex when she smiled and know that everyone's not jaded. That throughout everything one may see or experience, there can still be joy, or at least contentment, in one's life.

Olivia had forgotten this long ago. She had always been the loner because it was easier to push everyone away than try to deal with expectations of others.

After working SVU, it was hard to look past all the horrors in the world, but she knew that if she didn't try, life was pointless. She lived to help the victims, but the last few months reminded her that she needed to take time for her own happiness as well.

She looked to her watch and realized it had been almost two hours since she had left her own apartment. She still had not heard from Alex, but it was getting colder as the sun set lower in the sky.

She actually started feeling nervous as she approached her apartment. She laughed at herself because of it. During her and Alex's entire acquaintance, all the drunken nights and conversations since then, she had never felt nervous. But now that it was Alex turn to talk…Olivia wasn't sure that she was prepared to hear it.

She was somewhat afraid that she had scared Alex and that she would push her away completely. She knew she would accept it if Alex didn't want a relationship, but she didn't think she could handle it if Alex didn't even want a friendship any longer.

She paused in front of her door, took a deep breath, and knocked. It felt odd knocking on her own door, but she didn't want to scare Alex.

She slowly opened the door and stuck her head in.

It looked as if Alex hadn't moved at all. She was sitting on the couch again with a glass of wine in her hand.

Olivia stepped in and removed her jacket, turning to place it in the closet. At the sound of Alex's voice she turned her face over her shoulder to see Alex's sculpted eyebrow raised.

"What exactly are the perks?"

Olivia couldn't help but grin.


End file.
